Skip to main content

What's Good for the Goose Isn't Always Good for the Gander

Sometimes, I think being a Principal's (or Teacher's) child isn't all it's cracked up to be. We can get too close "to the picture" to see the details.  We can become hyper-focused on doing well in school, especially if learning comes relatively easy to our child. I sometimes forget how to wear one hat without wearing another.

As a principal, I work with teachers who set deadlines for assignments (and they should). As a mom, sometimes I miss a deadline with my son and feel incredible guilt. And so the argument begins with myself, "Who's responsibility is it anyway? Yours or His? Both?".

Every Sunday night is clean out the book bag night. As a principal, I would recommend to my parent self that the book bag should be cleaned out more often and likely way before Sunday night. Yet, when I am home, (as a mom), a million other things come up and I don't get to the book bag as often as I should (or as much as that principal voice says I should). My son is now an official adolescent (12!) and no longer wants me meddling (I mean helping) as much I have before. His new mantra proclaims I need to trust him and he's responsible.

"This is normal for middle school kids", my principal voice whispers.
"Who asked you anyway?", my mom voice darts back.

Hidden within the piles of paperwork recovered from the abyss he calls a bookbag was an ELA exercise that examined the lyrics of "Cat's in the Cradle". Finding the assignment in the middle of the chaos of wearing both hats pretty much stopped me in my tracks.



And with that reading, a messy bookbag and missed assignment didn't seem as important. Backing away from the picture I've been standing nearly on top of,  I realize all these imperfections (of his and mine) aren't that noticeable at all.  Not in the grand scheme of things, anyway.

In the end, he won't remember when I misplaced his band practice log or his homework folder. He'll remember silly jokes we made and long conversations we had about a variety of topics.

Hopefully, he'll remember a mom who was always in his corner and believed in him, shared mistakes and all.

Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 12, 2014 at 7:30 PM

    As both a parent and educator I couldn't agree with you more! Everyday we wear a plethora of hats. It is often very difficult to juggle all of our responsibilities. I feel that as a parent-educator it does become crazy at times when dealing with our own children, especially when we have those teacher expectations. I often find myself checking that take home folder on a Sunday night :)
    Teaching the "Cat's in the Cradle" lesson during our narrative unit was a wonderful activity. The reflection and discussion by the students was pretty serious and enlightening. Even though I listened to the song numerous times throughout the days we did the activity, each time I listened to it I would reflect on my own life. One of the themes of this song is to enjoy life's journey and take time to step away from the 'adult responsibilities' of life. It seems like you are enjoying the journey of being a parent- those memories are the ones you will both have forever :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownNovember 12, 2014 at 7:34 PM

      I absolutely love that the ELA teacher responsible for the assignment took the time to read and comment! I agree on the theme you've mentioned...we need to enjoy the journey more. Thanks for reminding me! :)

      Delete
  2. DennisNovember 13, 2014 at 6:17 AM

    Lisa, wow, I loved reading this post! As middle school principals we wear such a variety of hats, but here you've demonstrated the importance of drawing the best from each to give to our own children. "Clean out the backpack day" is a practical task that can't be underestimated. However, using it as a time to connect is masterful. No doubt, your son will remember these days that you were there for him! And the next time I listen to Harry Chapin, I will remember this post...and the true importance of cleaning out the backpack.

    - Dennis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownNovember 14, 2014 at 7:34 PM

      Hey Dennis, you are truly one of my most favorite principals. I appreciate your taking the time to read the comment.

      Delete
  3. MelMay 10, 2015 at 8:04 AM

    I'm in the same boat so thanks for sharing! I find that being a teacher and a mom both have the challenges and rewards, but believe that both help me be better in the other role. I just blogged about it for Mom's Day http://www.melissatuttle.com/2015/05/forget-superworman-im-teachermom.html

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Growth Mindset

This will be a quick post likely full of errors and incomplete sentences. But, I feel a pressing need to get these thoughts to paper while: a) I have time  and b) I can still remember the pieces I want to connect I was given a great opportunity to work with Dr. Shawn Hunziker today. We've conducted some online book studies around Mindset by Carol Dweck. This past winter, we were invited to give a keynote to CSE Chairpersons ( BIG TIME for us) and that led to today's session with CNYSEA's Summer Institute .  On my way to the session, I was rehearsing notes (as I always do, see previous post ). At a stop sign near the venue where the conference was held, I pulled up in back of a car and noticed the neatest license plate: NEVRQT* I think that's how it was spelled. I tried to grab a picture but realized how creepy that would look and did not reshoot the blurry image I captured. When I arrived at the conference, I immediately told my partner, Sh...
18 comments
Read more

Shelf Life

I was getting teased by a friend about how long I had been working in my current position. "How long have you been there?" "Four years as Principal but 10 years in the district." "You do realize you've overstayed your welcome." "What?!" "Your shelf life. Most administrators only have 5-7 years in each position. You've passed that." That conversation was intended to be light hearted but it had me thinking hours later. We know that one of the most critical educational influences in a child's performance is an awesome teacher. But, right after that, we usually hear about the need for solid leadership. At the NASSP Principals' Institute, the suggestion was shared that principals might even share the top spot with teachers in determining success. The argument was great principals hire great teachers...they need each other. I still believe teachers make the most direct difference but I am aware of how interdependent bo...
12 comments
Read more

Gram

I am a member of the #compelledtribe. We are a blogging group that supports each other and writes in response to posted topics every so often. This week's topic is: Share a story about someone who loved you when you didn't expect it, earn it, or either deserve it. One of my biggest regrets in life is that my grandmother may not have fully known the impact she has had on me. I had the privilege of living next door to her for nearly 5 years. There were rituals she made me do with her. We watched ice skating every Sunday. We watched Wheel of Fortune most nights. On weekends, she sent me around town to different stores, by foot, with a shopping list for deals at each of them (based on the flyers). I had an odd fashion sense then and she was never afraid to tell me if I looked awful. My gram was the lady with the lavender sweater, lavender slacks, and lavender pumps. She matched. I sported a more Boy George inspired look that she never really understood or appreciated.  G...
11 comments
Read more