Sometimes, I think being a Principal's (or Teacher's) child isn't all it's cracked up to be. We can get too close "to the picture" to see the details. We can become hyper-focused on doing well in school, especially if learning comes relatively easy to our child. I sometimes forget how to wear one hat without wearing another.
As a principal, I work with teachers who set deadlines for assignments (and they should). As a mom, sometimes I miss a deadline with my son and feel incredible guilt. And so the argument begins with myself, "Who's responsibility is it anyway? Yours or His? Both?".
Every Sunday night is clean out the book bag night. As a principal, I would recommend to my parent self that the book bag should be cleaned out more often and likely way before Sunday night. Yet, when I am home, (as a mom), a million other things come up and I don't get to the book bag as often as I should (or as much as that principal voice says I should). My son is now an official adolescent (12!) and no longer wants me meddling (I mean helping) as much I have before. His new mantra proclaims I need to trust him and he's responsible.
"This is normal for middle school kids", my principal voice whispers.
"Who asked you anyway?", my mom voice darts back.
Hidden within the piles of paperwork recovered from the abyss he calls a bookbag was an ELA exercise that examined the lyrics of "Cat's in the Cradle". Finding the assignment in the middle of the chaos of wearing both hats pretty much stopped me in my tracks.
And with that reading, a messy bookbag and missed assignment didn't seem as important. Backing away from the picture I've been standing nearly on top of, I realize all these imperfections (of his and mine) aren't that noticeable at all. Not in the grand scheme of things, anyway.
In the end, he won't remember when I misplaced his band practice log or his homework folder. He'll remember silly jokes we made and long conversations we had about a variety of topics.
As a principal, I work with teachers who set deadlines for assignments (and they should). As a mom, sometimes I miss a deadline with my son and feel incredible guilt. And so the argument begins with myself, "Who's responsibility is it anyway? Yours or His? Both?".
"This is normal for middle school kids", my principal voice whispers.
"Who asked you anyway?", my mom voice darts back.
Hidden within the piles of paperwork recovered from the abyss he calls a bookbag was an ELA exercise that examined the lyrics of "Cat's in the Cradle". Finding the assignment in the middle of the chaos of wearing both hats pretty much stopped me in my tracks.
And with that reading, a messy bookbag and missed assignment didn't seem as important. Backing away from the picture I've been standing nearly on top of, I realize all these imperfections (of his and mine) aren't that noticeable at all. Not in the grand scheme of things, anyway.
In the end, he won't remember when I misplaced his band practice log or his homework folder. He'll remember silly jokes we made and long conversations we had about a variety of topics.
Hopefully, he'll remember a mom who was always in his corner and believed in him, shared mistakes and all.
As both a parent and educator I couldn't agree with you more! Everyday we wear a plethora of hats. It is often very difficult to juggle all of our responsibilities. I feel that as a parent-educator it does become crazy at times when dealing with our own children, especially when we have those teacher expectations. I often find myself checking that take home folder on a Sunday night :)
ReplyDeleteTeaching the "Cat's in the Cradle" lesson during our narrative unit was a wonderful activity. The reflection and discussion by the students was pretty serious and enlightening. Even though I listened to the song numerous times throughout the days we did the activity, each time I listened to it I would reflect on my own life. One of the themes of this song is to enjoy life's journey and take time to step away from the 'adult responsibilities' of life. It seems like you are enjoying the journey of being a parent- those memories are the ones you will both have forever :)
I absolutely love that the ELA teacher responsible for the assignment took the time to read and comment! I agree on the theme you've mentioned...we need to enjoy the journey more. Thanks for reminding me! :)
DeleteLisa, wow, I loved reading this post! As middle school principals we wear such a variety of hats, but here you've demonstrated the importance of drawing the best from each to give to our own children. "Clean out the backpack day" is a practical task that can't be underestimated. However, using it as a time to connect is masterful. No doubt, your son will remember these days that you were there for him! And the next time I listen to Harry Chapin, I will remember this post...and the true importance of cleaning out the backpack.
ReplyDelete- Dennis
Hey Dennis, you are truly one of my most favorite principals. I appreciate your taking the time to read the comment.
DeleteI'm in the same boat so thanks for sharing! I find that being a teacher and a mom both have the challenges and rewards, but believe that both help me be better in the other role. I just blogged about it for Mom's Day http://www.melissatuttle.com/2015/05/forget-superworman-im-teachermom.html
ReplyDelete