Hindsight

She'd convinced herself that I was the enemy. Seemed so logical to her that the anger she was feeling was because of my actions and not her inaction. I didn’t predict the path that pain would take her during the months ahead. I'd heard over and over, that hurt people hurt people but somehow my heart didn't make that connection with my brain soon enough. I regret not realizing that.

I gathered the whispers of what was being said and struggled with understanding where it all went wrong. Of course, today, I can see explicitly how the message got tangled. Who weaved it. I couldn’t see it then but I see it now.  I can see where I made my own mistakes as well.

That’s the unforgiving burn of hindsight.

The conflict likely began in a conversation about “those kids”. The ones that can turn a building inside out.

For most of my career, I’ve tried to advocate for equity when it comes to special needs students. Yet, experience has taught me that the need extends beyond this subgroup. There is an equity crisis in our schools in regards to how we handle “those kids”. Fortunately, I’ve seen where teams of teachers, support staff and administrators embrace the challenge and try every avenue possible to reach those same students. Restorative practices, forgiveness, and honest team conversations and action planning assist in the efforts. Wow, those individuals inspire me! Each and every effort and each and every story. I never grow tired of seeing it from so many of my colleagues.

One of the students who was formally known as one of "those kids" is almost at his (school) finish line. For the last two years, he has tried to drop out of school at least 10 times. He has used many negative behavior tactics to be deliberately (and successfully) suspended.  

Luckily, he has a very solid, small circle of school adults plugging for him and I’m proud to be part of that group. We haven't let him off the hook despite his repeated pleas to be let go.

He recently took his GED test and will receive the results later this month. There's a whole circle of adults with fingers and toes crossed for good news! Stories like his, real life, hard, resilient stories, remind me that advocacy for kids is some of the toughest work we are called to do.

One kid, one story, and maybe even one uncomfortable conversation at a time. Even if that conversation comes with a personal cost.

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Stand - Rascal Flatts

"You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight

But you'll be all right, you'll be all right.."