Stories

I've had some quiet moments in this office over the last two weeks. The bustle of school is noticeably absent. I'm working on completing a lot of required paperwork. In the quiet of the day, my mind will wander and I keep revisiting two stories from this year that taught me so much.

Story #1

The parent was adamant she didn't know her son was going to be placed in an integrated classroom. Her child was a general education student and didn't need the supports that the "other kids" needed. She demanded her son be moved to a different classroom. The principal stood firm and assured the parent that her son was in an incredible classroom with amazing teachers. The parent eventually gave up asking for a different placement. 

What could not have been predicted is what happened after that decision. Her son became close friends with a young girl in the class. A beautiful, funny, spunky, brilliant girl who also happens to be on the autism spectrum.  

When he invited the entire class to his birthday party, his new friend was one of two that showed up. 

When he left for dismissal most days, it was her hand he chose to grab as partner to exit the building.

By the end of the year, the parents saw what the two kids had already figured out. Those two students learned from and supported each other.  They didn't see what made them different. They only saw what they had in common...each other. 

Story #2

I had heard that one of the high school students I try to monitor was assigned In School Suspension for a discipline matter. I stopped by to check in and the teacher assigned during that period was one of our awesome special education teachers. He's a teacher a lot of the students look up to and he always presents himself in a positive, upbeat manner. We had a quick conversation about a meeting that was happening after school. He teased me about the meeting and the fact that I didn't include a location in the meeting invite to everyone. I teased back that I was certain I had done that. Before I knew it, I had bet this teacher 1 dollar that I didn't make the mistake he said I had made. Our shared student watched our banter, smiled and shook his head.

I went to check my calendar and realized I had in fact made this mistake. I returned to the ISS room and shared my mistake with the teacher.

"But, I have good news and bad news", I stammered. "The good news is you were right. I did forget the meeting location. It will be in my office. I am sorry for that. The bad news is you won the bet but I never carry cash on me. So, I won't be able to pay you the $1."

We both laughed and the conversation soon ended. I said goodbye to our student and didn't see neither the student or teacher again for the rest of that day. 

The next day this student showed up at an office I was visiting in the building with a teacher I didn't normally see him with. The teacher walked him in and looked serious. The teacher asked me to confim that the student was ok to see me. The teacher explained the student said he was looking for me but didn't know where to find me. I thanked the teacher for bringing him to me and he quickly left. 

I began to walk with the student as classes had started and I knew he needed to be somewhere. It wasn't typical for him to seek me out on his own so I began to wonder what the purpose of the visit was.

"I paid Mr. XXXX for you."

"What? I don't understand.", I replied.

"I paid him. You owed him a dollar and you said you didn't have it. So I paid him for you."

I paid it for you. 

My heart stopped for a second. This incredible kid who may have needed that dollar ten times more than either the teacher did or I did, paid a debt I owed.

On his own.

He paid that debt. 

I later found the teacher and explained how that payment came to be. He had no idea the story behind the dollar and assumed I had given the dollar to the student to give to him.

We both let that realization sit in. (The teacher also returned the dollar to the student.)

This student had been working through referrals and mistakes all year long but decided to go out of his way on this day to make something right for another person. If that's not the truest sign of hope and encouragement not to give up on him,  I am not sure what would be.

Story Reminders

In the first story, I am reminded what I've always believed to be true: integration of students with special needs helps students without needs sometimes even more than it does those with needs. Students are sometimes more open at accepting others than we can be. As adults, we bring different worries -- many, many warranted, -- to our decision making. It can complicate the simplicity of childhood. But, on a very basic level, all kids want to be part of the community. You can't predict where a friendship might bloom.

In the second story, I am reminded that every single child has good in them. I am also reminded that our kids are always watching us, listening to every word, and making decisions about us. I am also struck by the notion that the power we all hold in every interaction is to find the beauty where it is and already has been.

Moment to moment and story by story.

What's one of your best stories from this year?