Skip to main content

Missing Her


June 7, 2018

I read the text message as it came across my phone today and could hardly believe it. A friend from my former district was reaching out to tell me about the passing of an incredible woman I used to know. I read the text to myself and took a deep breath. This week has already been a tough week personally and this is the drop that causes the bucket to overflow.
I begin to hold back tears. It's the last straw for my heart. I feel selfish for even being stuck in the problems of this week. Those problems aren't real pain. Thinking of her saying goodbye to her family, her beloved daughter and husband --- that's pain. Real, actual, pain.

I thought about this incredible woman and how she always made time for me when she saw me in my previous community. Our kids grew up together and were very close for some of that time. She treated my son like her child and made room for him with her family on a whim's notice. She and her husband were always so kind to him. To me. I began to recall beautiful Christmas cards and an ornament she once gave me. 




I thought about this woman and how much she battled her illness. She's been sick for so long but pushed through it with support of her family and a mom's resilience. Moms know what I am trying to describe here -- that dig deep for your child stick-with-it-ness.

The guilt is there. I haven't seen or spoken to her or her husband in over a year. I knew she had been sick but I always assumed she was invincible. She always had been. All this time. Always pushing through with the most sincere spirit.

I thought about how little she required of me. The relationship between both of us really had no strings. In all of our years interacting, she never asked anything of me. Her amazing daughter attended my school and if she had questions about anything school related, she gave me the benefit of the doubt each time. She'd build me up every time I saw her as if she knew I needed some kind of spirit re-calibration.

I have had other people come into my life and require so much more and take so much more often without the mildest form of reciprocation. I think about what a real blessing knowing her was. I think about what a missed opportunity I had in that friendship and allowing it to become so temporary. It's a loss I will carry with me for some time...a very long time.

Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 17, 2018 at 11:43 PM

    Beautifully stated about a very special woman. Even as a teenager she was always building up others. She was passionate about living each day and she was taken much too soon. I love the song.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Growth Mindset

This will be a quick post likely full of errors and incomplete sentences. But, I feel a pressing need to get these thoughts to paper while: a) I have time  and b) I can still remember the pieces I want to connect I was given a great opportunity to work with Dr. Shawn Hunziker today. We've conducted some online book studies around Mindset by Carol Dweck. This past winter, we were invited to give a keynote to CSE Chairpersons ( BIG TIME for us) and that led to today's session with CNYSEA's Summer Institute .  On my way to the session, I was rehearsing notes (as I always do, see previous post ). At a stop sign near the venue where the conference was held, I pulled up in back of a car and noticed the neatest license plate: NEVRQT* I think that's how it was spelled. I tried to grab a picture but realized how creepy that would look and did not reshoot the blurry image I captured. When I arrived at the conference, I immediately told my partner, Sh...
18 comments
Read more

Shelf Life

I was getting teased by a friend about how long I had been working in my current position. "How long have you been there?" "Four years as Principal but 10 years in the district." "You do realize you've overstayed your welcome." "What?!" "Your shelf life. Most administrators only have 5-7 years in each position. You've passed that." That conversation was intended to be light hearted but it had me thinking hours later. We know that one of the most critical educational influences in a child's performance is an awesome teacher. But, right after that, we usually hear about the need for solid leadership. At the NASSP Principals' Institute, the suggestion was shared that principals might even share the top spot with teachers in determining success. The argument was great principals hire great teachers...they need each other. I still believe teachers make the most direct difference but I am aware of how interdependent bo...
12 comments
Read more

Gram

I am a member of the #compelledtribe. We are a blogging group that supports each other and writes in response to posted topics every so often. This week's topic is: Share a story about someone who loved you when you didn't expect it, earn it, or either deserve it. One of my biggest regrets in life is that my grandmother may not have fully known the impact she has had on me. I had the privilege of living next door to her for nearly 5 years. There were rituals she made me do with her. We watched ice skating every Sunday. We watched Wheel of Fortune most nights. On weekends, she sent me around town to different stores, by foot, with a shopping list for deals at each of them (based on the flyers). I had an odd fashion sense then and she was never afraid to tell me if I looked awful. My gram was the lady with the lavender sweater, lavender slacks, and lavender pumps. She matched. I sported a more Boy George inspired look that she never really understood or appreciated.  G...
11 comments
Read more