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Be Kinder Than Necessary; It Starts With Us

We were making small talk at the end of a meeting. Each of us lamenting on the loss of two celebrities this week to suicide. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. The talk turned to how much pain people carry with them.

As educators, we try to do a lot for students and providing supports around mental health. I've been fortunate enough to be in this field for over 24 years and have seen the improvements we've made around elevating school counseling supports that are necessary, and not optional, in schools. We've added social work supports, on site mental health clinics, and social emotional curriculums and more to so many of our schools.  It is true that our students have increasing needs than ever before and the need for additional supports will grow. 

Yet, what could we be contributing to the sadness and stress others are feeling? Even inadvertently?

I wonder what improvements we've made on the outside as adults. I am a regular user of social media and have noticed the growing trend of adults being mean behind their keyboards. For example,  I watched an adorable video of a baby that had grabbed a full loaf of bread in her arms. I made the mistake of reading the comments on this video and was ashamed at the bashing that was posted. Moms calling out other moms. As if motherhood wasn't tough enough already.

I think about mean emails. The ones circulated about someone that scar their reputation and are sent in secret to others. We assume the target will never know about the words yet often they do. Some think nothing of tearing down another human being behind the screen. Our feelings have almost become disposable and ephermeral.

This world is tough. Political climates are ugly. Publicly smearing another human seems more acceptable than ever. Trashing someone's reputation is common. People accept fiction over fact all too often.

I've had to advocate for many a student struggling with anxiety. Some will  tell kids to just get over it or get their medication adjusted. A few will downplay their fears. Except those of us dealing with it face to face, moment to moment, trying so hard to connect to that student. I am always in awe of those educators.




The saying, "Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is finding some sort of battle" is posted all over the internet with likes and reshares by the thousands. But, instead of fleeting support of the quote, I wish we'd put more of those words into action.

And back into our hearts. Myself included.

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make that change."


Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson

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