We gathered like every other edcamp session group had before. We were casually choosing our spaces at the table, putting down our phones, and hanging our bags off the chairs. Each of us waited patiently for someone to begin the session. I can't remember who began the conversation but I can remember parts of what she said. I remember the words because I couldn't believe it.
Right there, in front of the entire group of strangers, she admitted these situations caused her some anxiety. She admitted while others saw her as this outgoing, confident leader that sometimes she felt like the complete opposite. She identified as an introvert and shared that putting herself out there, out here, took methodical effort on her part.
I could barely believe my ears. This was someone I looked up to with great admiration. I had seen her work crowds as a professional development facilitator and was amazed by her ability to manage a varied group. I wanted to have the skills she had!
Sitting there, I wanted to say more. Share more about my story but I couldn't. Not then, anyway.
Since that day, I've been thinking more and more about our work in schools (heck, even in life) and each of the hats we wear. I've been thinking about misperceptions we might have about each other. I've been thinking about assumptions and how hard they are to shake.
I've also been thinking about those that are willing to be honest and open about how they are feeling. About the work, struggles, losses, mistakes, struggles and failures. It can be easier to assume surface level facts about a person are all there are to that person. But, they're not. We all feel pain and loss. We assume the days of others are linear, one step forward. It doesn't always occur to us that for every step forward we see another take, they've invisibly slid back at least two or three.
I've also been thinking about how I want to thank HER for speaking her truth that day. I want to thank her and a few others in my world right now. With each interaction and admission, they are helping me feel better about parts of how I feel about myself. All the self-talk in the world about trying to be more fearless and outgoing hasn't worked. Realizing that others face the same worries I do, at times, has.
Right there, in front of the entire group of strangers, she admitted these situations caused her some anxiety. She admitted while others saw her as this outgoing, confident leader that sometimes she felt like the complete opposite. She identified as an introvert and shared that putting herself out there, out here, took methodical effort on her part.
I could barely believe my ears. This was someone I looked up to with great admiration. I had seen her work crowds as a professional development facilitator and was amazed by her ability to manage a varied group. I wanted to have the skills she had!
Sitting there, I wanted to say more. Share more about my story but I couldn't. Not then, anyway.
Since that day, I've been thinking more and more about our work in schools (heck, even in life) and each of the hats we wear. I've been thinking about misperceptions we might have about each other. I've been thinking about assumptions and how hard they are to shake.
I've also been thinking about those that are willing to be honest and open about how they are feeling. About the work, struggles, losses, mistakes, struggles and failures. It can be easier to assume surface level facts about a person are all there are to that person. But, they're not. We all feel pain and loss. We assume the days of others are linear, one step forward. It doesn't always occur to us that for every step forward we see another take, they've invisibly slid back at least two or three.
I've also been thinking about how I want to thank HER for speaking her truth that day. I want to thank her and a few others in my world right now. With each interaction and admission, they are helping me feel better about parts of how I feel about myself. All the self-talk in the world about trying to be more fearless and outgoing hasn't worked. Realizing that others face the same worries I do, at times, has.
The Beauty of Being a Misfit
"If I could, I'd go back and I'd coach myself. I'd be exactly like those over-50-year-old women who helped me. I'd teach myself how to want things, how to stand up, how to ask for them. I'd say, "You! Yeah, you! You belong in the room, too." -- Lidia Yuknavitch
We become better leaders when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and share more of our stories with each other. I learn from so many members of my PLN through every tweet, blog post or even vox. Each interaction leaves pieces of inspiration with me. I'm thankful to those that make room to include me in theirs and today...I'm especially thankful to the strong women who help lift each other up in so many ways.
Thank you.
You know who you are. 😊
*** With special thanks to Chrissy Romano-Arrabito for being one of the inspirations for this post and for starting that edcamp conversation. 💗
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