I've been enjoying reading the "Principals are People Too" posts by members of my PLN including Tony Sinanis, Leah Whitford and Jay Posick. I've been both struck and relieved by the honesty of the posts. Sometimes, I put too much pressure on myself as a principal and need the gentle reminder theses posts have provided.
Back in 2006, when I first entered administration, I was sure I would remain in a district level position overseeing special education. I thought that was where I was supposed to be and remain. But, when a principalship opened up in our district, under the saddest of circumstances, I began to wonder, could I pull it off? Could I be a principal? For the last two years, I have had the privilege of working with an incredible group of people that have made room for me, quirks and all.
One of my bigger worries, that my staff has since learned, is how much I fear public speaking. I know, it makes no sense. Principals talk in front of groups all the time. It's part of the territory. Or so I would tell myself. Over the last two years, I have worked on this fear and have faced some opportunities that required me to "speak publicly". One of the biggest events, related to this fear, was giving a keynote this winter with my colleague, Dr. Shawn Hunziker. We spoke about how to embrace a growth mindset in the field of special education. The talk went very well (at least that's what we heard). But, my fear was so bad, I had to practice and practice with Shawn. He never complained to me about the practice. He sure had ample opportunity to do so. To this day, I can never wing a faculty meeting or Board of Education meeting. I always prepare something. Perhaps this will get better as I gain experience and confidence.
During my first year of being a principal, I thought I had to know all the answers. During my second year, I realized that was nowhere near true. What I learned this last year, and largely due to my PLN, was that it was ok to be me. I didn't have to fit some required "mold" to hold a principalship. Sure, many of the tasks that were required of me are required of all principals, but how I approach them can be different. Different is ok.
When I make a mistake (and I regularly do), I beat myself up about it way before others even have the chance to. I can roll the hindsight tape and cause reflection for what I shoulda, woulda, coulda done differently. But I am better at forgiving myself now than I was two years ago. I have learned through so many trusted connections, and the faculty I work with, that taking risks are ok. Falling down is not the end of the battle. Staying down is. I've learned to admit mistakes and say sorry when needed. Sometimes, I still wear too many feelings on my sleeve.
Just like other people, I am a work in progress. After all, principals are people too.
Back in 2006, when I first entered administration, I was sure I would remain in a district level position overseeing special education. I thought that was where I was supposed to be and remain. But, when a principalship opened up in our district, under the saddest of circumstances, I began to wonder, could I pull it off? Could I be a principal? For the last two years, I have had the privilege of working with an incredible group of people that have made room for me, quirks and all.
One of my bigger worries, that my staff has since learned, is how much I fear public speaking. I know, it makes no sense. Principals talk in front of groups all the time. It's part of the territory. Or so I would tell myself. Over the last two years, I have worked on this fear and have faced some opportunities that required me to "speak publicly". One of the biggest events, related to this fear, was giving a keynote this winter with my colleague, Dr. Shawn Hunziker. We spoke about how to embrace a growth mindset in the field of special education. The talk went very well (at least that's what we heard). But, my fear was so bad, I had to practice and practice with Shawn. He never complained to me about the practice. He sure had ample opportunity to do so. To this day, I can never wing a faculty meeting or Board of Education meeting. I always prepare something. Perhaps this will get better as I gain experience and confidence.
During my first year of being a principal, I thought I had to know all the answers. During my second year, I realized that was nowhere near true. What I learned this last year, and largely due to my PLN, was that it was ok to be me. I didn't have to fit some required "mold" to hold a principalship. Sure, many of the tasks that were required of me are required of all principals, but how I approach them can be different. Different is ok.
When I make a mistake (and I regularly do), I beat myself up about it way before others even have the chance to. I can roll the hindsight tape and cause reflection for what I shoulda, woulda, coulda done differently. But I am better at forgiving myself now than I was two years ago. I have learned through so many trusted connections, and the faculty I work with, that taking risks are ok. Falling down is not the end of the battle. Staying down is. I've learned to admit mistakes and say sorry when needed. Sometimes, I still wear too many feelings on my sleeve.
Just like other people, I am a work in progress. After all, principals are people too.
Lisa I too do not love public speaking. If I don't have something prepared then I feel uncomfortable. I think being able to reflect and blog and share has helped in a way. I am sure you will continue to question yourself and your decisions, as we all do. Those people that don't question and/or reflect simply don't give a %^$% and who needs them anyway? I learn much from the honesty in your posts and I do believe that we learn and grow and get better together. Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteJon, I agree. Blogging has definitely helped with all of this. Funny, I didn't put that together until you mentioned it. Having a PLN has been a confidence builder for sure. We help each other learn so much.
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