Reflections

I was at a wonderful event last night celebrating students. One student was chosen to give an address to the crowd. In her speech, she talked about being okay with failure. She saw failure as giving her classmates more ways to learn and to improve. We've heard and even said similar sayings before. "There is no such thing as failure, only learning experiences." "FAIL - First Attempt In Learning" "Fall seven times, stand up eight." I sat there wondering when I stopped remembering that. Things aren't supposed to always go as planned or as perfectly as we hoped. We won't always hit the mark no matter how hard we try. Sometimes it's beyond our control. That's one of the things we'd do well to remind ourselves of more often.  Much more often... You're Only Human - Billy Joel "You're allowed to make your share of mistakes You better believe there will be times in your life When you...

She'd convinced herself that I was the enemy. Seemed so logical to her that the anger she was feeling was because of my actions and not her inaction. I didn’t predict the path that pain would take her during the months ahead. I'd heard over and over, that hurt people hurt people but somehow my heart didn't make that connection with my brain soon enough. I regret not realizing that. I gathered the whispers of what was being said and struggled with understanding where it all went wrong. Of course, today, I can see explicitly how the message got tangled. Who weaved it. I couldn’t see it then but I see it now.  I can see where I made my own mistakes as well. That’s the unforgiving burn of hindsight. The conflict likely began in a conversation about “those kids”. The ones that can turn a building inside out. For most of my career, I’ve tried to advocate for equity when it comes to special needs students. Yet, experience has taught me that the need extend...

From late January until the end of March, working in a school always seem so much more emotional. Teachers are giving 110% to support kids yet students begin to show their need for help in some of the most unloving ways. I've been working in a school in one capacity or another for almost 25 years (what?!!) and I've seen it happen every single year . As I've learned more about trauma informed practices, I've realized the field still has such a long way to go in remembering (and accommodating for) compassion fatigue . from  http://www.nationalcompass.net/2018/11/11/is-america-suffering-from-compassion-fatigue/ It's not enough to just say, "Well, it's March...that's what always happens in March." Our teams of educators need reminders to take care of themselves so that they can take care of others. The basics of that include eating well, exercise, sleep (my favorite self-care choice!), and trying to maintain balance.  Still, I th...

The first meeting was a 62 mile drive from work. I rearranged my schedule to be there on time, leaving a cushion of minutes in case I hit heavy traffic. I wasn't familiar with the meeting location and had never met the other individual before. I arrived and waited just a short time for the meeting to begin. I spent some time in an empty conference room prior to the official start. That's always nerve wracking, sitting alone in a new place and anticipating the appointment. Soon enough, introductions were made, questions asked, and 18 minutes later, the meeting adjourned. 18 minutes. I thought about that on the car ride home. I had now hit the traffic jam I had anticipated on the way down. What about this conversation only had it last that long? I could tell, in the meeting, I wasn't making a connection no matter how hard I tried. It felt flat on my part and maybe even hers as well. I wondered what she was thinking as I was driving away. Perhaps, relieved THAT meeting was...

Many of my posts are about students and their struggles. I sometimes use this forum to process extraordinary efforts made by the talented people I have the privilege of working with. Sometimes, I use this medium to process mistakes I've made so that I can become better, recognizing I am deeply aware of the flaws I bring to the work I try to do each day. But, this morning, I am not thinking about our students. Instead, I am thinking about some of the adults I work with, my colleagues. I have different kinds of relationships with each of them so I suspect a few would even be surprised they are on my mind this morning. Yet, they are. I'm thinking about the colleagues supporting their grown parents through Alzheimer's. I'm thinking about the secondary teacher who battles her own physical illness each day only to spend most late afternoons and early evenings on her couch. Teaching is her passion but it's taking most of her energy. I'm thinking about the ne...

One of my favorite games at a fair or amusement park is the one that involves shooting water straight at a balloon target. That target helps the horse move up the pole. It takes a laser focus and unwavering aim to win that game and watch your horse slide to the top. Over the years, it's become the one game I still play. I know the rules, I know the technique and I usually have a chance at moving that horse. Up until this year, I felt the same way about leadership. With over 10 years in teaching and over 10 in administration, I've been fortunate to have this career. With each step I've made beginning in Indian Lake, NY and ending here, I've learned from every experience and have tried to use that in the next step of the journey. I can still fondly recall so many from each school I've been in that (still) impact me and my practice. Taught me so much. Helped kids so much. So, it would seem I would feel more successful than I really do right now. Perhaps, it'...

The Urgent Care doctor seemed incredibly concerned. Instead of treating us there in her office, she instructed us to gather our things and prepare to go to the Emergency Room. Emergency Room? That didn't sound right. And in a split second, what I thought was likely a benign, treatable illness had become something so much more. With her one comment, my mind sped forward 2000 scenes and it was a new movie, new script, and a sad ending. There was nothing she said in particular at that moment that made me create this new movie, it was all in my head. But, it felt so much more like nonfiction than fiction.  Thankfully, the ER doctor took some time assessing the situation and determined there was not a cause for grave concern. But in that long hour, between Urgent Care and ER, trepidation had already painted some scenes and had already staged them out in my mind. Places everyone! Shame on me. I knew better than that. I know that positive thoughts always make the biggest impact....