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Admit It


I haven’t ugly cried in a very long time.
That is, until this past Friday afternoon.

Please don’t tell me that leaders aren’t supposed to cry or worry. (It’s a bit too late for that.) Luckily, my tears were only with a trusted colleague. I am committing to print that leading during this pandemic is some of the toughest work I’ve ever had to do. It’s not just tough for me, it’s tough for everyone. Students, parents, teachers, my clerical team, other administrators, and more. The balancing of this new, constantly evolving, and at times suffocating, workload can make any of us feel inadequate or that we are not doing enough. The half-empty mentality takes over and soon we’re drowning in place. It’s like we are trapped in the shallow end of a pool and have forgotten how to stand up. 


I think the only way through this is to lean on each other more than we have ever had to in previous school years. Yet, I know not everyone will be willing to do so as they may be protecting themselves behind a shield of criticism. Criticism which is often, in my opinion, a disguise for fear. The fear of admitting this is hard. The fear of admitting a lesson didn’t go as well as it has in the past or the fear of admitting all of these new technologies are complicated. The fear of fumbling on a given task or the fear of not feeling good enough. The fear of admitting that it's okay to cry if it lets you turn the page on a disappointment.


The fear that we just might need each other, now more than ever this year. 


It’s about time we all admitted it. I will.




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