The mom is struggling on the other end of the phone to explain the situation involving her daughter to me. She asks me to put myself in her position. She asks me what more the district can do to support her daughter. Her baby. Her one and only.
I tell her I am surprised by what she has shared as we've never seen the behavior or worry she is reporting. I attempt to reassure her that her teachers haven't seen it either. Her daughter blends into every other kid in the hallway. Her daughter says a polite hello to the adults who do interact with her. Her daughter completes her homework and tries not to really engage with many. Her daughter feigns enthusaism when the need arises.
Her child works relentlessly at blending in and becoming invisible. Her mom tells me that's her biggest maternal fear. She knows as the days go by, her daughter will grow more and more anxious which will make the evenings and next mornings before school that much harder.
She asks me if I know what any of that's like.
That last question is the one that hits me hard. The punch takes me back to younger years of hoping things would get better or I'd meet a goal I'd set for myself. Takes me back to days of middle school and high school where I worked overtime to not be noticed. I did my work and played the game of school well. Inside, I may have been struggling with stressors on our family but I dare say no one in middle school or high school noticed. By then, I had figured out how to blend in.
It also takes me back to the beginning of my administrative career. I was so unsure about myself. I knew that I was grossly underqualified to have that job but I didn't dare tell that to others. "Fake it till you make it, Lisa. Fake it till you make it." During my commute of 30 minutes, I'd push through a daily, painful stomachache. Day after day, I did that work until two years later, I decided to apply to a smaller district. The stomachache faded and subsequent experiences helped me gain confidence.
When I was a much more ambitious scholar, I thought about pursuing an advanced degree so that I could study the topic of resiliency. I wanted to know more about how some of us seem to have more of it than others. I want to know how we build that up in kids so they can genuinely replace feelings of hopelessness with more hope.
I end the call with the Mom assuring her our team will be back in touch with the plan we've worked though during the end of this call. I can hear her pause and maybe even breathe a sigh of relief.
All she really wants is for her daughter to be noticed, taken care of, and ok. The remarkable team I work with assures me we have it covered.
Even a few days later, I'm still thinking about the call and the worry that being a mom and dad brings. I think most parents want just the basics for their children. The very basic of the basics is to feel included and noticed for the gifts they bring to us.
Each and everyone of them bring their gifts. And in how we support them, we bring ours.
I tell her I am surprised by what she has shared as we've never seen the behavior or worry she is reporting. I attempt to reassure her that her teachers haven't seen it either. Her daughter blends into every other kid in the hallway. Her daughter says a polite hello to the adults who do interact with her. Her daughter completes her homework and tries not to really engage with many. Her daughter feigns enthusaism when the need arises.
Her child works relentlessly at blending in and becoming invisible. Her mom tells me that's her biggest maternal fear. She knows as the days go by, her daughter will grow more and more anxious which will make the evenings and next mornings before school that much harder.
She asks me if I know what any of that's like.
That last question is the one that hits me hard. The punch takes me back to younger years of hoping things would get better or I'd meet a goal I'd set for myself. Takes me back to days of middle school and high school where I worked overtime to not be noticed. I did my work and played the game of school well. Inside, I may have been struggling with stressors on our family but I dare say no one in middle school or high school noticed. By then, I had figured out how to blend in.
It also takes me back to the beginning of my administrative career. I was so unsure about myself. I knew that I was grossly underqualified to have that job but I didn't dare tell that to others. "Fake it till you make it, Lisa. Fake it till you make it." During my commute of 30 minutes, I'd push through a daily, painful stomachache. Day after day, I did that work until two years later, I decided to apply to a smaller district. The stomachache faded and subsequent experiences helped me gain confidence.
When I was a much more ambitious scholar, I thought about pursuing an advanced degree so that I could study the topic of resiliency. I wanted to know more about how some of us seem to have more of it than others. I want to know how we build that up in kids so they can genuinely replace feelings of hopelessness with more hope.
I end the call with the Mom assuring her our team will be back in touch with the plan we've worked though during the end of this call. I can hear her pause and maybe even breathe a sigh of relief.
All she really wants is for her daughter to be noticed, taken care of, and ok. The remarkable team I work with assures me we have it covered.
Even a few days later, I'm still thinking about the call and the worry that being a mom and dad brings. I think most parents want just the basics for their children. The very basic of the basics is to feel included and noticed for the gifts they bring to us.
Each and everyone of them bring their gifts. And in how we support them, we bring ours.
Disappear , from Dear Evan Hansen
No one deserves to be forgotten
No one deserves to fade away
No one should come and go
And have no one know he was ever even here
No one deserves to disappear
To disappear
Disappear
It's true
Even if you've always been that barely-in-the-background kind of guy
You still matter
And even if you're somebody who can't escape the feeling
That the world's passed you by
You still matter
If you never get around to doing some remarkable thing
That doesn't mean that you're not worth remembering
Think of the people who need to know
They need to know
So you need to show them (I need to show them)
That no one deserves to be forgotten
No one deserves to be forgotten
Comments
Post a Comment