If we considered the odds, he wasn't supposed to "make it". He was an active, athletic youth who had little interest in schoolwork. He could easily do the work, especially math, but there wasn't a reason to excel at it. Over the course of his school years, he collected numerous behavior referrals.
In elementary school, teachers labeled him a smart mouth. I can still recall the memory of walking by his fourth grade classroom and seeing a desk in the air. It wasn't the student who had thrown it. It was his teacher, acting out of such frustration.
In high school, things got tougher. People on the outside assumed he was too deep in trouble to stand for. He eventually dropped out of school. Since the age of 15, he had always been employed (had those soft skills that employers wanted but maybe schools didn't quantify at that time), so he worked. A year later, he decided to return to school. Imagine the bravery that took back in the late 1980s. The merit of that return was marred by an incident involving a teacher. This student, the one that many were still seeing as the troublemaker, was in class. This teacher had made it known how little he thought of this student. On one particular day, there was a toy car on the floor that this student did not see. He accidently stepped on it. Out of rage, the teacher hit him on the back of the head for not seeing it.
The teacher hit him.
I was in an undergraduate teaching program and got the call that there was going to be a meeting. I remember being angry and disillusioned. At that meeting, some of the adults in the room began to lecture him about doing better and trying harder. I remember finding the courage to talk and I told this group that giving up on kids wasn't what I was learning in school about becoming a teacher.
The student graduated later that year and life moved on.
For the better.
If I fast forward the tape of memories I have with him, my heart swells. He wasn't supposed to do as well as he is doing. He wasn't supposed to beat the cycle of poverty he grew up in. He wasn't supposed to learn that the angry actions by his stepfather toward him weren't supposed to be repeated. He just wasn't supposed to. At least not according to all of the outside critics and what we (still) allow ourselves to say about "these kids". He unlearned all kinds of lessons that the "odds" would have had him destined to learn -- and repeat.
He didn't have access to the incredible and supportive experiences I had as a student from all of my teachers. I always had wonderful teachers in my corner. He did not.
He didn't have access to the incredible and supportive experiences I had as a student from all of my teachers. I always had wonderful teachers in my corner. He did not.
As an adult, this person, my brother, is one of the first people I can call on for anything and he will always be there. He has the grandest sense of humor and ability to make me laugh like few other. He is also my greatest protector when I need it. Above all, he is an incredible father, the father he never had, to my adorable nephews.
What I've learned from him is that hope for even the most troubled student must remain. We can NOT predict where a student will end up or how their life will turn out. We think we can when we get caught up in "these kids" or "it's not worth it" or "it will be a longshot".
Longshots have the biggest payouts at the races.
My brother, my role model, is living proof of that.
"When you see me..."
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