I gave him three minutes to say whatever he wanted to say to me without my being upset or responding. He looked at me like I was crazy. "Now, come on. I know you're upset with all of this. Say what you're thinking. Anything. I promise I won't react poorly to anything you say." He paused for a moment. He looked at me and just when I thought he would tell me how much he despised me or my efforts...
He just said, "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to come to school everyday and have these same conversations?".
I responded that was a fair question.
And then I said, "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to come to school everyday and have this conversation?"
Puzzled, he looked up at me. He went on to ask both the guidance counselor and I why we cared so much about him. He seemed to admit that he was hoping we would grow tired of the conversations, day after day, and just leave him alone. It was an honest conversation we needed to have.
"When I am outside this school, I'm not your middle school kid anymore." "Ahh, but that's not true", we responded. The counselor and I took time to explain how we felt about him, his strengths and moving forward. We also explained that we're not allowed to let kids go. It just wasn't an option, ever.
When you sign up to be a teacher, counselor or a principal, you care about all kids. Even the few that think you are unfair, don't like them, or wear masks of disrespect day after day...we keep at it hoping that one day, even if the day is far from today, that student remembers something of value we said or did.
That chance makes these connections and reminders some of the most important, toughest, frustrating and ultimately rewarding work we do.
Wow, how challenging, yet wonderful for you and for him! I tell all of my students "If YOU are successful, I AM successful!" I don't mean just for the grade I teach them in, but for their future as well. Keep doing what you're doing! Every child matters!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking time to leave comment Michele. You are right about the successful quote. That's what matters.
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